


Not the Right Time

by Full_Moon_Lover



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 14:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10721082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Full_Moon_Lover/pseuds/Full_Moon_Lover
Summary: Dan and Phil are getting married in a few minutes and Dan couldn't be more excited. At least, until he starts thinking about everything that could go wrong and everything that could change once they get married. And so, he does what any sane groom would do. He runs.





	Not the Right Time

**Author's Note:**

> And here is another oneshot based off of a prompt on phanfic (tumblr) which you can find in the link below. Enjoy!
> 
> http://phanfic.tumblr.com/post/158150891222

Dan wasn’t really sure what he was doing. It was almost as if his actions still had not caught up with him and he found himself living in a different moment. 

The last thing he really remembered was standing at the altar and waiting for Phil to show up. They were going to get married in a few minutes and Dan couldn’t be happier. At least, that’s what he thought. He’s in love. He loves Phil like he had never loved anyone before so marriage was the obvious choice…right?

That’s what had gone through his head when Phil got down on one knee and proposed. Dan barely even thought about it before he said yes. What was thee to think about? They were in love and had been together for more than six years. They basically already behaved like an old married couple so all that was left was for them to actually get married.

No one was surprised when they announced their upcoming marriage. Some even said that they had been expecting it for years. It left Dan feeling a little disconcerted. Other people seemed to be more aware of what he wanted than he himself was.

He shook off all the negative thoughts going through his head and instead decided to dedicate all his focus to wedding preparations. They didn’t want anything big but their wedding day was going to be one of the most important days of their lives so they wanted everything to be as perfect as possible. Dan forgot all about his worries and reservations amongst preparing invitations and visiting different wedding locations.

Dan really should have known that although doubts and reservations can be pushed to the side momentarily, they cannot be ignored forever. It was just his luck that they all flooded back in as he was waiting for his fiancé at the altar.

A multitude of questions started going through his head. _Am I really ready to be tied down? Will things chance between Phil and I once we officially tie the knot?_ Cue the mental breakdown. All Dan could think about where the multitude of ways in which things could wrong. And so, he does what any sane groom would do in his place. He bolts down the aisle.

He could see all the guests who had already taken their place staring at him flabbergasted but Dan simply didn’t care. He needed to get out of there before he ended up having a panic attack in front of everyone.

Dan ran all the way back to the hotel they were staying at, desperately hoping that Phil had already left their room. He could not have felt more relieved when he entered their bedroom and realised he was all alone. Phil must already have been on his way to the venue. _Phil_. He felt his stomach drop when he thought of his fiancé, finally arriving at the wedding venue, just to be told that Dan had ditched him.

He had half a mind to go back and explain that it had all been a huge misunderstanding. They would be able to get on with the wedding and it would be as if nothing had even happened. Dan was already opening the door to leave when he paused and realised he couldn’t do that.

There was no doubt whatsoever in his mind that he loved Phil. He wanted to be with him till the end of the line. But marriage? Dan couldn’t deny that his feelings of doubt and worry back at the venue had been completely real. He couldn’t get married knowing that he wasn’t completely sure about it. Phil deserved better than that. He just wished he had realised all this before his actual wedding day.

Phil was going to kill him. How was he supposed to explain to his fiancé that getting ditched at the altar didn’t mean dan didn’t love him? Even thinking about it sounded completely ridiculous.

Dan thought about what Phil must be thinking. He was probably already at the wedding venue at this point and was made aware of the fact that he was nowhere to be found. Would he be mad? Furious enough to come looking for Dan in order to give him a piece of his mind? Or maybe he would choose to focus instead on the crushing disappointment of not finding Dan waiting for him at the altar like they had practiced countless of times before. What if he just burst out crying in front of all the guests at finding out his fiancé had fled? None of the options helped Dan feel any better about himself.

How was he even going to explain himself to Phil? _Oh, hey there Phil! Sorry I wasn’t there but something came up._ Even thinking about it made Dan wince. Not only was it the worse excuse he could possibly come up with, but it also made him sound like the biggest asshole ever.

Besides, he had no doubts that Phil would be able to see through all his excuses and demand to be told the truth. You don’t date someone for more than six years without learning to tell when they’re lying.

That left Dan with no other option other than to tell the truth. That is, if Phil let himself talk for long enough to explain himself. Not that Dan would blame him if he didn’t. He couldn’t imagine himself managing to somehow stay calm and understanding if it had been the other way around and Dan was the one getting ditched.

Dan should have known him better than that. Should have known that Phil loved him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt even in a situation like this. That is why, when he heard the knock on the door, the last person he expected to see was Phil.

Phil didn’t look as if he had spent the last fifteen minutes crying his eyes out and he didn’t look as if he was considering the idea of punching Dan in the face. He actually looked quite calm considering the situation they found themselves in.

Dan could do nothing but look at his fiancé ( _was he still his fiancé?_ ) with a gaping face. There was so much he wanted to say but he didn’t have any idea of where to begin from or how to word it. Phil didn’t talk straight away and so they were left staring at each other in silence.

Phil, seemingly realising that Dan had no real intention of talking, was the one to break the awkward silence that was settling over them. “Are you going to let me in so we can actually talk or are you just going to stand by the door and look at me like a fish out of water?”

Dan quickly snapped out of his stupor and stepped back in order to allow Phil to walk in. He was completely out of his depth. Why wasn’t Phil yelling at him, screaming, throwing punches? _Okay, so maybe I wasn’t expecting Phil to suddenly start punching me in the face but I definitely wasn’t expecting him to be so calm either_. Phil was acting as if this was just like any other day and they were about to have a very normal conversation.

Phil sighed and rolled his eyes. At this point, Dan was actually pleased to see such a reaction. He was done with all the pleasantries and the complete avoidance of the topic at hand. Dan wasn’t proud of what he did but there was no point denying it any longer.

“I fled our wedding”, he blurted, pretty much stating the obvious.

“I know.”

Dan waited for Phil to say something else but was left disappointed. Was this what Phil was playing at? The silent treatment? Dan couldn’t help but think that abandoning someone at the altar deserved something harsher than the silent treatment but he wasn’t about to point that out to Phil.

“I’m sorry," he said, and instantly found himself wanting to take it back. That was nowhere near close to the things he had thought of saying to Phil while he was alone in the room.

Phil seemed to agree that his apology was lacking in a lot of things since he was looking at him in what appeared to be disbelief. “I’m sorry? And here I thought I would get a little more than that, considering I was ditched at my own wedding," he pointed out, making Dan wince. “An explanation maybe?”

Dan knew he was right. They had spent months planning for this wedding, wanting it to be something they both enjoyed. He was already lucky Phil was even giving him the chance to explain himself. Thinking he could get away without having to explain anything was expecting too much. They couldn’t go back to their life as if nothing had happened. This time, it had not just been the two of them. There were guests who had seen the whole thing.

Now Dan just needed to somehow find the right words to explain himself without ruining things. Or at least, without ruining them more than he undoubtedly already had.

“I love you,” he said, thinking that would be a good place to start. He needed Phil to understand that all of this did not happen out of some realisation that he did not love Phil as much as he had originally thought.

A part of Dan couldn’t help but hope that Phil knew this already and he wasn’t doubting Dan’s love for him. He wouldn't have shown up at their room and calmly demanded an explanation if he was unsure. “I really do love you,” he continued. “I just don’t know if we’re doing the right thing. We’re happy with the way things are right now. Do we really have to change anything?”

Dan didn’t miss the relief that spread over Phil’s face at being told that he was still very much in love with him. He couldn’t help but hate himself a little bit more. How could he have made Phil, the most important person in the world for him, feel as if he was not loved? If they somehow managed to get through this, Dan was going to make sure that Phil knew exactly how much he was loved.

Phil could only look at him in confusion. “Where is all this coming from? We talked about marriage many times before I proposed and you always seemed to be in favour of the idea. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I wasn’t completely sure it was what you wanted. Besides, you said yes.”

Dan couldn’t really argue with that. It wasn’t as if Phil sprung out a proposal at him out of nowhere. The both of them had brought up the topic throughout the years. At first, the both of them agreed that they were still too young or the relationship was too new. Both of them had always considered marriage to be a possibility in the future.

As time went on, the idea of getting married stopped seeming like such a faraway dream and started becoming more of a reality. By the time Phil proposed, they were both on board with the idea of getting married, buying a house and finally adopting the dog they had been talking about for ages.

Dan still wasn’t entirely sure what changed. He still wanted the house, and he most definitely still wanted the dog. He just wasn’t sure if getting married really fit into the picture for him anymore. He loved what they had going on for them right now. They were being the most open they had ever been with their viewers, where they weren’t hiding their relationship as much anymore. What if all that changed after they got married? Dan didn’t want their whole dynamic to change, not now that everything was going so well.

“Only you would get cold feet on the day of your wedding and decide to blow the whole thing off,” Phil said, sitting down on the bed. At least he didn’t sound mad. Just exasperated, and really tired. “Not meaning to judge, but couldn’t you have thought about all of this before you were at the altar?”

Dan could only smile sheepishly and shrug. He was shocked that things didn’t seem to be going as bad as he initially expected. Phil still hadn’t said anything about breaking things off because Dan fled the wedding. Maybe things could still be fixed between them. He tried not to think about all the guests they invited to the wedding who were probably still waiting for an explanation of what was going on. Dan was definitely not looking forward to that conversation.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” he said, hoping Phil could understand that dan had never meant for any of this to happen. “I know that I made a right mess of things. You have no idea how much i wanted to forget about everything and just come back to you so we could get married but I couldn’t do it. You deserve better than to marry someone who is not completely certain of what they really want to do.”

This was the moment Dan had been expecting from the second he got to the empty room and realised he had abandoned Phil at the altar. Phil was going to realise that there was going to be no wedding today and he was going to leave him. 

Phil seemed to be thinking really hard over the situation, and Dan couldn’t blame him. What he did today was horrible and he didn’t have any doubts that Phil was feeling hurt over it, even though he was good at not showing it. If what he wanted was a break, that’s what Dan would give him, even if it would crush him. It was the least he could do. 

Phil surprised him yet again by standing up and walking closer to pull Dan in for a warm hug. Dan could feel himself relax in the arms of the man he loved and genuinely felt as if he could cry over the relief that he could feel washing over him. 

He didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky but, somehow, Phil understood. He understood that Dan loved him very much but was just not ready to get married. 

“You know it’s going to be a nightmare explaining to all of our guests that we’re still together but we’re not getting married today, right?” Phil asked, making Dan groan. “I’m going to make you explain things to them just for ditching me instead of talking to me about your worries.”

“I hate you,” Dan said, but they both knew what he really meant. _I love you. Thank you for understanding why I couldn’t do this.”_

*

_A year later…_

If you were to tell Dan that, a year later, he would be the one getting down on one knee to propose to Phil, he would have laughed. Yet that’s exactly what happened.

He never regretted postponing the wedding. Getting married was something he needed to think about and Dan could only be grateful over having taken the time to do just that even if it meant having to explain to all the guests that the wedding was off yet also reassuring their devastated families that they were still together. Needless to say, that did not go over very well.

A year later, they were back in the same situation. It was the day before the wedding, yet Dan wasn’t feeling very nervous. Thinking back to the last time they were in the same hotel, he couldn’t help but laugh. He had been a nervous wreck and, to this day, he wasn’t really sure why he was convinced was such a good idea when the only emotion going through his body was fear.

Things were different this time around. Dan was looking forward to the upcoming day and he was excited to finally get to call Phil his husband. He was going to walk to the altar and he was going to wait for Phil to get there so they could finally get married without a glitch. There would be no running off this time.

It wasn’t until they were getting ready to go to bed that Dan realised Phil was feeling a lot more nervous than he had previously let on. His fiancé kept looking at him worriedly and Dan was getting tired of being asked whether he was sure about the wedding or not.

He couldn’t help but feel relieved when Phil finally decided to open up about his worries in the darkness of their hotel room. “You’re not going to run away again, are you? I can’t walk up to an empty aisle again Dan. Once was bad enough, but I couldn’t take it again.”

Dan couldn’t help but feel guilty all over again. Even though he did not regretting deciding to put off the wedding, he did regret having waited till the wedding day to come up with his decision. Phil had thought he had ditched him and kissed their relationship goodbye, even for just a few minutes and that was a regret that Dan would always have to carry around with him.

It would be stupid to blame Phil or feel offended over him thinking that way when he had every right to. Dan did it once, what was keeping him from doing it again? It was up to him to show Phil that he really did mean it this time. He wanted to get married and finally get to call Phil his husband.

“I know this is scary, especially with what happened last time,” Dan said, hoping he was being reassuring. “I promise that this time I’m going to be right there at the altar waiting for you. I love you and I want us to get married. I wouldn’t have proposed if I wasn’t completely sure of what I wanted. Do you trust me?”

Dan didn’t think he ever felt as in love as when he felt Phil nodding against his shoulder. “I trust you.” After everything he made him go through, the pain, the disappointment…Phil still loved him.

“Then you have to trust that I’ll be there tomorrow. I won’t let you down again, I promise.”

*

The next day, after a beautiful ceremony and quite a few tears, Dan could happily say that he was finally Daniel James Howell-Lester and he couldn’t be happier. Now they just needed to adopt a dog.

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot was shorter than what I usually write but I still love it and hopefully you did as well. 
> 
> As usual, don't forget that your lovely comments are what gives me the motivation to keep on going and writing so make sure to let me know what you think. 
> 
> Don't forget that you can follow me on Tumblr (fiction-phan) for updates and more stories!


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